So you decided to join the masses and participate in the socially acceptable idea of making New Years resolutions. Yes?
Or maybe you are bucking the norms and refusing to participate in a predictably poor attempt at changing your life in some way.
Either way, let’s dissect the idea of resolutions for a moment to either give you hope or give you options.
The way that resolutions are typically created is to come up with some wish list of things you would like to be different in your life. Relationships, health, and money generally top the list. Maybe you have written down your resolutions. Maybe you are an overachiever resolutionist, and you actually engage in a meaningful way with your resolution. This might be joining your local gym, buying tobacco gum, or redoing your home budget (ok, let’s be honest- creating your budget for the first time). So why do your resolutions often fail? Your intentions are honorable. You have the desire. What’s the problem?!?!
The primary reason your resolutions fail is because you are still the same person. You are acting out of the belief that you are who you were last year- before you made the resolution. You are still the over-weight person. You are still the lonely bachelor. You are still the low-level worker at your job. When you continue to act out of the identity that you have always had, you will continue to get the same results.
In order to have a chance in heck to actually achieve your resolutions, so that they are actual goals rather than wishes, you have to begin to change how you think about yourself, how you talk to and about yourself, how you portray yourself to the world, and you’ve got to believe that you are the person you want to be. This is really the first resolution you need to make. It’s the foundational step to all resolutions. But it’s NOT easy. You might have been a smoker for 25 years and that’s your identity- “a smoker”. Now you’ve got to harness your energy into the perspective that you are now a “non-smoker”. Changing your identity is not impossible, but it is extremely challenging. Enter- your therapist. Our therapists our specifically trained to help you re-envision yourself in your new identity. You are writing the reality of your story. Yes, the external world happens all day every day without your consultation, but you get to create the narrative and give it meaning. Therapists are also specifically trained to identify the barriers to adopting the identity that you want- one of success, of purpose, of significance.
Make this year YOUR year. Begin to tell yourself and believe that you are the person that your New Year’s Resolution is about.