“You need haters” is a pretty bold statement, yes? How much do you agree with this on a scale of 1-10, 1 being not at all?
Initially your response to this declaration is probably one of strong opposition. Who wants to be hated? It doesn’t feel good, but most of all people who are hated are bad and wrong. If you are truly doing the right thing, you will be loved or at least liked and admired. Additionally being hated is bad for the psyche. It is negative energy and consumes your time. How much do you agree with these statements (1-10)?
Here is where I disagree with what I just said. Do you want to be average and lack having an impact on the world? Most people I work with care about themselves and others and have real talent and gifts to give the world. They have an idea in which the world (or even just their sphere of influence) could be better off. But change isn’t easy. If change were easy, we wouldn’t need so many self-help books, and we wouldn’t feel so stuck in our problems. In order to have the influence you were designed to have and that lives in your heart and soul, you have to push others. You have to be more than just the average quiet voice in the crowd. You have to be heard and seen, or get your product or idea seen and heard. Because average won’t make any break throughs, you have to be above average. Above average in energy, ideas, actions, movement, whatever it takes. And this is where the haters come in. People “hate” for a variety of reasons but it most often comes down to jealousy. People have been disillusioned in their life and have let their own passions and goals hit the ground. They cannot stand to see someone else succeed. Someone else succeeding leads to self reflection on their own failures, and if someone isn’t internally capable of taking a real look and dealing with that reality, they will work hard to eliminate the cause for such internal reflection. It is a serious blow to their ego. Still don’t believe that haters are inevitable when you start making a serious impact? It still must mean you are doing something wrong? Then I suggest you take a serious look at the life of Jesus. If you believe that he is the Son of God, then you know he was sinless and did nothing to deserve anything negative. However his haters were many! And they were some of the most influential people of the time! So influential that they got him murdered in one of the most humiliating and torturous ways. It would have been more merciful to put him in front of a firing squad. If you don’t believe Jesus was the Son of God, you will still recognize that his life was one of good deeds. He was compassionate to the most abandoned and outcast, along with those who had power and wealth. So if a man who was sinless or at the very least had a life that was entirely about servant leadership and compassion had so many haters, how can you continue to believe in the premise that haters implicitly mean you are acting wrongfully.
The more impassioned I become in my life’s calling and the more I realize the large impact I and the work I facilitate is meant to have, the more I have to either accept that people will object, criticize, or vehemently oppose what I do or else I can lower my standards and not fulfill what is deep inside me. Do haters get to me psychologically? Heck yes!! I don’t like it when I’m not liked. It doesn’t feel good because I’m a super fun and likeable gal. However, I consistently remind myself that I could be “perfect”, and I would still have haters. And moreover, the more haters I have (when I know I am living out what I was created to do), the more I can tell myself I am having a larger and larger positive impact on my environment and my culture. People are becoming uncomfortable, which is necessary for change, and some of those people are just choosing to turn that discomfort into anger/hate.
Again, I propose that you need haters. It is a sign post you could be on the right path to huge impact.
-Dr. Sheri Fluellen
On a scale of 1-10, how much do you agree with this blog now?? or do you hate it?!?! I would love to get your feedback!